cookout jealousy and a hot dog smoothie.

i've been very positive up to this point, i really have. and i still am but let me tell you...seeing/smelling/watching my family eat all the food at our 4th of july cookout today was rough. i'm a total sucker for hot dogs on the grill (even though i'm veg most of the time), and the stouffer's brand mac n cheese is my favorite. so, after having a hearty breakfast of chocolate ensure with malted milk, i tried not to be super jealous of everyone chowing down around me. unfortunately, i didn't sleep very well last night and my stitches are starting to bug me, so i wasn't the most cheerful little camper today. my wonderful mother ran some mac n cheese through the blender, thinned down with some milk, and i drank that down with no problem. it was delicious! it's just so weird to NOT chew your food...it's definitely something to get used to. but that was super satisfying and cheered me up for quite a bit. 
my boyfriend came over today and brought me the most BEAUTIFUL roses! :) 

i'm really glad he still thinks this face is cute! 

in terms of how my face looks and feels, i'm still surprised and very happy with how good i feel compared to how i thought i would. there isn't a whole lot of aching or tooth pain right now, but MAN my stitches are hurting me. the inside of my mouth is so torn up. the surgical hooks look like they're becoming embedded in my gumline, and i can consciously feel my stitches almost all the time. especially at the very very back...it almost feels like there's skin being pinched between my jaws back there, or like i'm getting a novacaine injection for my wisdom teeth or something. it's a very sharp but achy pain and it spreads all the way up to my ears and is really bugging me. that's why i had such a hard time sleeping last night! i'm trying to keep up on the yucky mouthrinse, which burns really bad, applying some orajel, and keeping ice packs on. that helps a lot.

aesthetics update: my FACE! i'm so happy! the bruising is close to gone, and the swelling is limited to underneath my lip line, so it looks a lot better. and I HAVE A CHIN! i can't tell you how excited i am about that.

just for reference, here's the before profile:

granted, my hair was wet and i was really tired in that picture too...but can you imagine how much i love having a chin? and having it be done for medically necessary reasons? i used to try to slide my lower jaw forward all the time to hide that retrognathic jaw, or to "suck in" my lower chin kind of, just so i wouldn't look like that all the time. i looked so dopey and awkward before. i can't wait to see the final result when all the swelling is gone.

numbness: the feeling's back everywhere except the front of my chin, my lower lip, bottom of my nose, and, strangely, my lower eyelids. i'm glad my nerve didn't suffer any damage during the surgery, 'cause i'm getting pretty tired of dribbling food down my face already!

so, about the hot dog smoothie.

i may have mentioned that i love hot dogs on the grill. well, about 3 hours after my mac n cheese puree, i couldn't stand it anymore.

i put a cut-up hot dog, 3/4 of an onion roll, some ketchup, pickle juice, into a blender. i thinned it with beef broth and hit Start. 

exactly what you thought it'd look like.

after obtaining a very Meatwad-esque bowl of slurry, i pulled it up into the syringe and gave it a try. 

you can tell which pics were taken with my ipod and which were taken with my dad's swanky Nikon D5000...

overall rating: taste? just like a hot dog with the classic condiments. smell? just like a delicious, hot-off-the-grill hot dog. everything else? well, some things...just weren't meant to be. i thought i had pureed the living heck out of this thing, and even afterwards, the texture just wasn't going to work. all the food i eat has to go through my banded-shut teeth and this just never got smooth enough, i guess. after about two sips a lot of little bits got stuck in my bands and i got grossed out and had to stop. 

so, now i'm sitting here eating cream of mushroom soup again. good ol' campbells. gotta love it. and you know who else i gotta love? my parents. absolutely. both of them. not to elevate one, but my mom has been pretty much my slave since last thursday. she makes my food (even when i try to do it myself), makes sure i get my meds at the right times, helps me clean up, etc. she's a total angel. so my dad and i were messing with his camera and these spinny-lights my aunt got us for the 4th, and i made this for her:

i do i do i do, and i bet you would too.