8 days post-op

well, i made it through the dreaded first week. my doctor and his assistants told me that the first week is bad physically and emotionally, and many patients regret having the surgery done during this time. i must've either been super lucky or completely missed something. in all honesty, i haven't ever sat here and felt like both my jaws and my chin were broken. even when i woke up in the hospital, i remember thinking, "did they do the surgery?" (i was on a lot of pain meds, but still) i really feel like this first week was almost a breeze. 


***WARNING: gross stuff about my mouth coming up ***


the worst part of this whole thing has been the surgical hooks and arch wires, seriously. i had braces when i was younger, and i remember how much i hated those, and this is a similar situation. i'll take broken bones over dental appliances any day. these things are tearing up the inside of my mouth so bad. that's really the biggest problem i've had so far. today i bought a baby toothbrush to try brushing my teeth, and i rinsed and brushed, which didn't hurt and definitely felt a LOT better afterwards. 
this whole time, i've noticed a subtle but super gross smell on my breath (sorry, i'm being totally honest here). i know not brushing my teeth will do that, but this is different. so i brushed today, and as soon as i hit the lower left gumline, that smell kicked up. i looked in and noticed a lot of dead tissue getting brushed away (gag), and that the hooks look like they're becoming embedded in my gumline. wtf is that smell? oh god! is it gangrene? is my face going to rot off?? i'm very grossed out and slightly freaked out at this moment. luckily, i have an appointment with the doc tomorrow. the bands i'm speaking of aren't even holding bands, so maybe he could...i don't know, cut them off or something. they hurt super bad and look like they're making my mouth infected or something, and i am not a happy camper. 
honestly, the dental appliances are the only real pain i'm dealing with (and the incessantly chapped lips). my mouth is torn up, and the hooks feel like they're becoming a part of my face. also, i noticed ALL the stitches today. all along where my lip meets my jaw on the top and bottom has a black line of stitches on it. seeing this gave me a partial visual of exactly how the surgery was done...and even though i've got a stomach of steel, it's pretty gnarly.
*** END OF GROSSNESS ***
i just realized i haven't said anything about my breathing results from this surgery. if you saw my pre-op x-ray, you know that my airway was super tiny and was very easily blocked by my tongue and my jaw in general. i used to snore pretty bad...just ask my roomies. now, i don't snore at all (!), and even with my chin on my chest, my airway is completely clear. i can't wait to get my follow up sleep study done...should be interesting.
i haven't been sleeping super well due to general discomfort, but when i wake up after about 7-9 hours of sleep, i feel well-rested and clear headed. i used to literally be able to sleep anywhere from 4 to 12 hours and feel like crap no matter what. i missed a lot of class because of it, and had a seriously hard time paying attention, concentrating, and staying awake. 
sometimes, even while awake and walking around, i could feel the tissue in my throat blocking my airway. if i was walking really fast to class or something, every once in a while it would get in the way and make an almost-snoring sound. needless to say, that was unacceptable and super embarrassing and very disconcerting. no more, i say!! 
numbness: i still can't feel my lower lip, which is alright, but it seriously impedes my ability to talk/eat/make smoochie faces. the very front of my nose is numb, my lower eyelids and the tops of cheeks are still kind of numb, and the front of my chin. the feeling is coming back in my chin though, and the nerve activity is driving me crazy!! it's not exactly painful, but it's certainly not comfortable. i keep getting little fluttery feelings in my face and across the roof of my mouth, too.
so, here's my face on day 8:

nice mugshot, huh? my favorite thing is the shiny chin and smudgy bruises.

look at that chin. just look at it. okay, you can stop looking now.

aaagh! yes, that's a smile, or something close to it. those white rubber bands are currently the bane of my existence.

so the swelling's almost gone, except for up next to my nose and a little on my lower jawline still. can you see how my nose goes off to the right? (my right, not yours) i really hope that's because of the swelling and not because of the surgery itself. it's not super noticeable, but still. 

looks like the bruising's going away too. it just looks dirty now, like i'm 4 or 5 and just ate a bunch of chocolate pudding while already on a sugar high without my mom around!

well, i'll update after my doctor appointment tomorrow. i'm going to ask him for copies of the post-op x-rays so i can put them up here, because they're pretty drastic. have a good night everyone!